


a set up for heartbreak

by thatofyou



Series: a set up for heartbreak [1]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, Pining, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-20
Updated: 2011-10-20
Packaged: 2018-01-21 16:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1556267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatofyou/pseuds/thatofyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"sometimes i wonder if i can handle it. it's not so much a question of whether it's worth it or not because, and you said you wouldn't tell jaejoong, it is. </i>he<i> is." the tips of changmin's ears redden, embarrassed in revealing so much. yunho just sees a young man in love.</i></p><p>they're in love, but jaejoong breaks up with changmin anyway. au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a set up for heartbreak

changmin wakes up in a tightly wound cocoon of his favourite blanket and jaejoong. he finds his skin is glued to jaejoong's with their sweat and feels mildly disgusted. he peels the blanket off of him, careful not to wake jaejoong, and sighs when a shiver rips through his body.  
  
he turns to look at the window to guess the time of day. it's light out, the window glowing a soft grey-blue that early mornings bring. he notices snow along the windowsill and instantly thinks of jaejoong. he knows how much jaejoong loves the winter and thinks of waking him up, but he opts to watch him sleep instead.   


 

  
jaejoong finds changmin sitting at his dinner table, cradling a cup of coffee with both hands. jaejoong thinks he's in love.  
  
"so i want you to meet my friend," jaejoong whispers, lips brushing against changmin's ear as he hugs changmin from behind.  
  
"i didn't know you had any," changmin jokes. jaejoong bites the tip of changmin's ear and changmin jerks his head away to look at jaejoong. "i thought we were keeping quiet."  
  
"i trust yunho. we go way back." changmin glares at him and jaejoong laughs, mildly surprised at the childish display of jealousy. "he's my best friend, stupid. i've known him since kindergarten."  
  
changmin keeps a straight face and stays quiet, but only to rattle jaejoong's nerves a little more.  
  
"he's really nice, i swear. yunho's the only one who's put up with me for so long. actually, i think you'll like him more than me, so maybe this is a bad idea. i take it back." changmin can feel jaejoong's nervousness in the way he gently grips changmin's shirt and the way his voice picks up, hot puffs of air hitting changmin's cheek in faster intervals.  
  
"i'd love to meet him," changmin smiles against jaejoong's lips.

 

  
  
  
"so how are you holding up?" yunho asks changmin over lunch. they're at an all-day breakfast restaurant down the street from yunho's work because he's in the mood for pancakes and changmin isn't picky with food. "you know, with jaejoong."  
  
changmin's eyes lower to watch yunho pour himself another cup of tea. he gestures at changmin and changmin nods and watches steam envelop yunho's fingers. "it's… okay," he starts slowly.  
  
"i won't tell jaejoong, if you're worried. your secrets are safe with me." crinkles form around yunho's eyes as he smiles at changmin and changmin thinks yunho's smile is very pretty.  
  
"it's harder than i thought it'd be," he admits. "it's something i've never done before."  
  
"that's understandable," yunho murmurs.  
  
"sometimes i wonder if i can handle it. it's not so much a question of whether it's worth it or not because, and you said you wouldn't tell jaejoong, it is.  _he_  is." the tips of changmin's ears redden, embarrassed in revealing so much. yunho just sees a young man in love.

 

  
  
jaejoong has never told this to changmin, but he doesn't like changmin's favourite cafe. it's ideally minimalistic with white walls, white chairs, white cups, even white cutlery, and jaejoong hates the way it stings his eyes. he hates how the only colour comes from the wooden tables and their drinks, and today, from changmin's midnight blue sweater.  
  
"we can't be together any more," jaejoong says quietly.  
  
"are you breaking up with me?" changmin asks bluntly, staring wide-eyed at jaejoong with hurt. if jaejoong had to miss just one thing about changmin, it will be his candour.  
  
"yeah. yeah, i guess so."   
  
"you're a fucking coward and you know it," he spits at jaejoong who stares into his half-empty cup of tea. changmin reaches for his still steaming coffee and jaejoong looks up to watch him finish it in one go. he puts the cup down gently, sucks in a breath, then stands. he looks jaejoong straight in the eyes and says, "thanks for the coffee. don't you fucking dare call me." he doesn't wait for a response, just tucks in his chair carefully and leaves.

 

  
  
the meeting ends with tired but relieved smiles across the room and jaejoong makes sure his are authentic enough to please. when everyone leaves, he tells his secretary to take a late lunch and to shut the door on her way out.  
  
a ghost of a smile lingers on jaejoong's lips as he stares out the window. he sees blocks filled with buildings, streets filled with cars, sidewalks filled with people and he wonders how cities are beautiful.  _changmin was beautiful in the city_ , he thinks.  _changmin could be any one of those people right now_.  
  
he blinks to collect himself and when he turns around, it's as if the sun stole the last of his smile. somehow in a matter of seconds, something akin to emptiness has lodged itself into jaejoong. he lowers his eyes and stares blankly at the papers on his desk.  
  
_i miss you_ , jaejoong quietly admits to changmin. old memories come to mind and recklessly fills his thoughts.   


 

  
  
when changmin comes home, he's too tired to cook for one, so he decides to go out. he dresses in something nice because he decides he's over feeling like shit. he wears his favourite suit with a pair of shoes he bought impulsively during lunch. he goes to his favourite restaurant and the owner himself greets changmin by his first name when he arrives. changmin asks for his favourite table and the owner smiles at him and obliges the request.  
  
changmin is finishing the last of his wine when he sees jaejoong. jaejoong is not alone. changmin looks at the other man closely, sure that he recognizes him, and then it hits him—the man is yoochun, jaejoong's ex-boyfriend. suddenly, changmin is angry; angry at jaejoong for being with yoochun and for bringing him here. changmin is angry at himself too, angry at his jealously and how much it hurts seeing jaejoong with another man.  
  
a waitress nears, so he asks for his bill. he pays quietly and tries his best not to frown at the waitress. it is not her fault. he walks by jaejoong and yoochun's table, and it takes all his will and his nails digging into his palm not to look at them. the entire drive home, changmin wonders if jaejoong bothered to look up.

 

  
  
jaejoong has made a habit of writing changmin letters. he writes them in a notebook at home, on a napkin at a cafe, on his phone in the car and when he's too tired, he leaves them in his head. he writes things like  _i love you and i'm sorry_ ,  _you're such a fucking brat i hated that the most_ ,  _i bought a new dinner table because i couldn't stop thinking of that time you fucked me on the old one_ , _would you come back if i asked? or do i have to wait for you to ask me?_ ,  _how are you without me because honestly i'm fucking terrible_.

 

  
  
so much effort is put into pushing away thoughts of jaejoong. even now, at the corner store, changmin is reminded of jaejoong and that time he argued some other brand was better. changmin admits that he's tired of trying to forget jaejoong and he buys the other brand in result. he thinks of jaejoong and imagines his deep, strange laugh. changmin misses jaejoong's laugh.  
  
there's a payphone across the street and after a pause, changmin heads straight for it. he deleted jaejoong's number from his phone months ago, the very day jaejoong broke up with him in fact, but he remembers it less as a random combination of numbers and more like a habitual motion ingrained to his hand. changmin sighs with both relief and regret when jaejoong doesn't pick it up and it goes to straight to voicemail.  
  
" _hey, you've reached kim jaejoong and clearly i'm not here to pick up this call, so leave your name and your number because we all know how easily i lose those_  [laughter] _beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep_  [more laughter]  _okay seriously though thanks forcallingohshiti'mgoingtoge_ —" the phone beeps and cuts jaejoong off just as he predicted.  
  
changmin doesn't say anything, just stares at jaejoong's number with wet eyes, tears threatening to fall. he chews on his bottom lip and breathes deeply through his nose.  
  
"do you miss me too?" he finally asks, voice shaking. he doesn't say anything else, but he doesn't hang up right away, as if jaejoong is on the phone with him and he's waiting for an answer. he stays on the line until the phone beeps and cuts him off too.


End file.
